Sunday, September 24, 2006

The New Hotness

i'm the man in black

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Old for My Age

I had an interesting evening tonight. In the end, I have re-affirmed that I am too old for my age. Not even 25, but feel utterly out of place amongst people my own age. Tonight we did our nightly patrol around the complex, and noticed people hanging out at the gazebo. Which is actually fairly unusual. So we decided to load up a hookah and head out. We set up on the deck near the gazebo and let the small cluster of young people engage us as they wanted to, not intruding. As a side note, we've got confirmed orders for at least three hookahs. Yay business! The average age of the group was probably 21 or 22. As is wont to happen when a little alcohol and the hookah is involved, conversation on a wide variety of topics ensued. Which, as would be expected, lead to politics and religion. Which lead to a mostly silent and irritated me. Young people full of "new" and "radical" ideas, severe distrust of the government, liberal though, dislike of an unpopular war, etc. Not unusual for the age group. And they were all well read and articulate. Likeable enough people, really. But frustrating for me. More and more I find I just don't understand or identify with people my own age. Got called a racist by a white person (dwa?) until I repeatedly explained that my dislike of urban culture has nothing to do with race, but the culture itself. The style of dress, the general attitude of zero personal responibility, the glorification of the objectification of women (that was a mouthful), the "music" and all that. I don't care if they have something intelligent to say. I can appreciate their wordsmithing, and do. But unlike one of the guys we talked with, I do care about what they say, not just how they say it. I also believe in not dressing like a clown. But. As I said, they were agreeable enough. Well-spoken, well-read. Cultured and intelligent.

When did I get this old?!

today's music ain't got the same soul

Friday, September 15, 2006

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Just Stop

I think I should learn how to become an automaton. I think it'd much easier than my ever-hopeful self. Because that ever-hoping crap is only going to end in disappointment. Again. As always. Rah.

there she goes

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Weekend Update, with Norm Macdonald

I've been away from the box for while. Just checking in. My mood's been stuck somewhere between melancholy and depressed for the last week or so. No discernable reason, other than maybe just the end result of months of crap at work and a rather vaccuous hole of a social life most of the time. But I don't think that's it. Probably just a bout of the ol' chemical imbalance rearing its ugly head. After tomorrow, I'll no longer be in Geek Squad. I hate that it came to that. I'll still be employed at Best Buy, and at the same store, just back in Car Audio. I should be working through Thursday of this week, but that changed while I was at work not 10 hours ago. Two weeks ago, I had 37 hours this week upcoming. A week ago, unchanged. Even when I went in to work at around 3PM for my closing shift, I was still scheduled a full work week. But between the time I got to work and the time Renny left, I had no hours. Zero. None. But everyone else, full or part time had full time hours. Huh. Letters to HR will be written tomorrow, oh yes. If Scott or Renny are there, I might raise a stink. I'm leaving anyway. They have no power over me now. No fear of reprisal hold me back. Which is what I've had for the last two weeks. But that's beside the point.

I've been writing, though. Just not here. Working on the Chronicles of Jed, working title. A lot of good ideas for the tale, which continuously evolves, came to me this week. For example, Jed, the main male character, is part demon. His mother was an elf of a certain tribe. She was assaulted by, what amounts to, an angel of death. Twins were the result of the assault. Jed, and Drandor. The mother, however, being an elf, was able to discern which of the two was the "Good" twin and which had a disposition more like the father. She was able to separate the essences of the children so that the "Good" twin got the noble heart and the demon blood whilst purifying the other child, but leaving the dark heart. I like the dychotomy. One's flesh is evil, while his soul is pure. The other is a pure being with an evil soul. That leads to another dynamic. The pure female priestessy character always gets treated rather tersely by Jed. There's no immediate explanation for this. Later on you discover that while Jed is, indeed, usually an asshole, in this particular case, it's something much different. Jed's demon blood is repulsed by holy things. Being in churches and around general holy things makes him uncomfortable in a non-specific way. Being around someone who is part celestial/holy being actually causes him physical pain. Like, say, a 5 or 6 on the 0-10 scale of pain. Constantly. This is a little bit of self-reference. I, on a normal day, because of my leg, can usually expect a pain level of 3 as a constant. There are times when it is lower than that, or even a 0. 3 is not bad. That, as near as I can tell, is the equivalent of just have a stiff back, or a head-coldish sinus pressure. Not bad, usually ignorable, easily remedied with low dosage of medication like tylenol. But this is everyday. And I don't like relying on pills. It's just a fact of me. My leg is kinda screwy because of how it was broken 11 years ago. I deal. But whenever there's a significant weather change or if I get in a "mood" the pain jumps to around 4 or 5. Which is what I equate with, say, the flu kind of achiness or first hard workout kinda sore and stiff. Which means I'm cranky. This week in particular, I got the double whammy of weather and moodiness so my leg has been most unpleasant. I have naproxen sodium for days like these, which help. But I don't always remember to take it when I get up. So if I'm ever kinda barky at you, take into account weather and such. It's probably not you so much as I hurt. Kinda like animals. When they're in pain, they tend to snap and bite. But that's Jed, too. Being around her causes him a noticable level of discomfort. But there are other things, far more epic and grand than mortal and identifiable characters. Like dead gods and dark cults trying to resurrect them. Avatars, angels, demons, mad wizards, dragons, AIRSHIPS!(ZOMG!!!1), meaningless death, redemption, resurrection. I know that when I get moody, the mind starts working funny and a lot of ideas flow forth and most of it is slag, but from the slag comes the occasional nugget of worth. And that is the one silver lining to the moodiness is an increase in creativity, even if it does tend towards dark and morbid things.

i'm gonna get free