Monday, August 08, 2011

The Bad is Swift; the Good So Very Slow

The weekend was average. And by average, I mean that, from my perspective, the good things and the underwhelming or disappointing things all evened out to naught. Today was equal parts, too, but that seems to be the order of the day. But the squabbles and frustrations are small. Sharing a bathroom, a friend's actions are entirely in character but just strike a nerve, these aren't really all that important. It's hard to remember that, despite my best efforts. It was good to go to church again, especially on a communion weekend. I got my transcripts, I picked them up today and got them scanned, moving forward.

Trying to clear up my credit report is...interesting. Creditors are very, very quick to report negatively. But good reporting takes, and I quote, "thirty to sixty days" which I think is really fair. Argh.

I tried to run today, but the combination of my general out-of-shapeness, near 100 degree heat, and oppressive humidity made even one mile of walking/running an absolutely awful experience. I had hoped to get at least two miles in, but that was a no-go. I managed some pool time. At least I ate healthy today, drinking a lot of water and keeping my carbs and calories down. Same weather tomorrow, but I'm going to try and get out at some point.

There are private struggles and frustrations that weigh on my mind and heart. Even writing here about it (what with no one really reading this blog and all) is difficult. Trying to explain the issue and remain generic enough to keep privacy is difficult. Relationships are often more difficult than they have to be or need to be. Fears, both general and specific, hobble us. These fears are understandable. The words run through my mind, the words I want to say, the poetics or the direct speech. Arguments swim and tumble back and forth. Sentences get typed, then deleted. Conversations almost get started, then vanish into the ether.

Am I confused? Frustrated? Yes.

But I am also...hopeful, in specific and at large. I'm not chased off so easily.

"And these three remain: Faith, Hope, and Love. And the greatest of these is Love."

Thursday, August 04, 2011

The More Things Change

Over the last few years I have learned to make about four or five plans for any large effort I am going to attempt. Why? The first one is going to fail before it gets off the runway. Every time. Without fail. Then the next few get shot down shortly after take off. I have learned to live on Plan Not-A.

So my original idea of directly enlisting to go to OCS, well, it flopped about like a fish on the deck of a ship and died before really even starting. So the plan became something else, involving a short AIT in an MOS that didn't require a security clearance. That, realistically, meant a much long delay on OCS, despite the reassuring words of recruiters involved. So I planned in a manner to minimize the hurt for a year long delay in getting into OCS.

And then, out of nowhere, I could get my transcripts after all. So I didn't go to MEPS today, like the previous plan. Why? Because I have to wait 48 hours (for some reason) to get my official transcripts. But. I was able to view my transcript online and it turns out that I have more credit hours than I thought. Not, y'know, a lot. Just the one more class. But that's enough to get me, for sure, into OCS.

Paperwork in. Maverick bound.

i am the very model of a modern major-general