Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Many Futures

So it's been a while since I last updated. And there's a lot of ground to cover. So here goes.

I've started saving for the future! I enrolled in the 401(k) program at work and my last paycheck saw my first deposit. I've also opened a savings account with automatic deposits of $25 a month, plus whatever I put in myself. So yay my future. Especially since I got my first raise. So yay!

In other news, Chris is not having a great time now. I won't go into why, it's not my place. If you are curious, ask him.

KOTOR II: Rocking my socks. Thanks for letting me hang on to your Xbox, Jerod.

Also, mad kudos to Joss Whedon. I was watching an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. There's a Dungeon Master character, and he's running a game for girl I don't recognise, Xander, and Giles. And the players go up against Trogdor the Burninator. Trogdor! The Burninator! Of Homestarrunner.com fame! How cool is that?!

burninating the peasants

Thursday, May 19, 2005

The Power of the Dark Side

George Lucas, I applaude you.

Even The Return of the King did not move me in the way Episode III has. Let the nay-sayers wring their hands and mourn their lost youth and dreams. It is they who have lost sight of what Star Wars was supposed to be about. There is beauty and nostalgia in the first three movies, the Original Trilogy. But in my eyes, this movie will live on as the shining triumph of the entire saga. Five movies. Five films, each great in their own right, designed from inception to be a space opera, an epic, archetype filled saga for kids, both young and old. But now something different. The last, and, I believe, oldest piece of the story. The fall. The fall of the chosen hero. Epic and moving. Dark. Thought-provoking. I am an introvert, so perhaps not everyone reacted internally as I did. What I took from this film was a resonance and a call for self-reflection and inspection. My fortune cookie at dinner read: "You could acheive greatness in your lifetime." I have always identified with the character of Anakin Skywalker. The most powerful characters that literature can create are the fallen heroes. He fell from Grace to save his wife. How can I not identify with that mentality? It's almost scary. I could be Anakin. I fully understand his motivations, his choices. I would have done it all the same. There's a reason why the lightsabers I have are all replicas of Darth Vader's.

It's all left me feeling very, well, dark. That deep, familiar, inner darkness that has permeated my being since I reached the Age of Reason. I resisted temptation, tonight. I want you all to know that. A very...very...powerful temptation. A temptation I would have much rather given in to. Not a new one, but one nonetheless. And feel only a bitter aftertaste like bile choking up my throat for it. Aren't I supposed to feel something better, a more positive reinforcement for resisting temptation? Iustis Pius Augustus, Virgin Emporer of America. Pure. Faithful. Dark.

you were the chosen one

Saturday, May 07, 2005


Wow. It's been a while. Just to check in, things are going right well. We settled into the new place over the space of a few...well...minutes. Even Doug and Chris, who weren't living in a state of half-moved, settled swiftly. Bailey, "our"(Chris' dog, but she's just as much mine, really) dog, settled the fastest of us all. She came in, ran around, jumped, smiled, played, and was at home. While we were still moving stuff in, of course. I think the one creature in the house that took the longest was Ebony, the cat. But even he, in his psycho-squirelliness, was settled in a few days. I still lack furniture, but my mom is coming up Monday with a goodly portion of it, so I'll have more than my bed, some boxes and a handful of milk crates for furniture. Milk crates worked wonders in the dorm room and as temporay cubicle storage in my old room as a kid. Not so much the me that's trying to establish a non-college bachelor look for myself. I love my closet. Did I mention that I have a closet? A closet! For the first time since my old house back in my junior year in high school a good, what will be, 7 years ago. Which reminds me. I'll be 23 in a week. Now, normally, 23 isn't a big deal. It's just a number of small importance between 21 and 25, when the numbers start counting by fives. But 23 puts me at an age when most people have graduated from college, or are a year or two into careers, not jobs. Right now, I have a stable job. One that I'm good at, I enjoy (most of the time at least), and pays reasonably well. There is plenty of room, and chance, for advancement and, if I wanted it, a career. Ideally, I'd have a job where my livelihood depended not on my treatment of the customer, but on the sheer strength of my work. Like, say, Hollywood stars. Many are notable assholes to the media and fans, but they get paid bajillions of dollars because people like what they do. There is at least one customer on any given day I'll just want to slug and tell off. But I like my job, and wish to keep it. But hey, the raise of awesome should be coming on the next pay check. Which is awesome because I closed out with 41 hours and 41 minutes this week. Overtime, oh yeah. I think that's it for now. Once I get the furniture and my other computer and everything up and going, I'll take some pictures of the place. I promise.

Also, my birthday is going to rock, I can tell already. I'm throwing this hellacious party, and I already know some of what I'm getting. Not because I peaked but because they asked what I wanted, and I told them. Or they've just said "I'm going to give you this." But that's cool with me.

your mind is not your own