The Darkest Day

Today = Suck.

Let's start from the beginning. Wednesday, I got a nice case of the Sudden Onset Cruds. I was kinds stuffy in the morning and then, right during dinner, BLAM! A tsunami of ache and ick rides up my spine and over my head. And then the condition continued into Thursday. And then came Thursday night. I was scheduled to come in at 3:30AM Friday for the Black Friday Bullshit Marathon. My schedule was 3:30AM to 2:00PM. Ten. Freaking. Hours. What the hell? And there was no way for me to call out. Nada. Even if I knew Wednesday I was going to feel like death lightly sauted in a creme sauce on Friday, calling in sick would have only gotten me fired. Which is a battle I don't care to fight, really. Yes, I'm sick. Yes, I'm contagious. But certain managers would have found a way to fire me for it. Which would have led to me filing a harassment suit. Just a mess. And I need a job more than a lawyer right now. So. I go in at three freaking thirty. Having slept maybe an hour. Not having eaten anything. BUt I wasn't hungry. Too busy being over-medicated. That's one of the nice things about my family. Can't throw a stick without hitting some kind of medical professional. So anyway. I'm propped up by at least four drugs at any given moment. But these drugs have a very drying affect, so I'm constantly having to leave to get water and relieve water. Fun times. Break time finally roles around at 9AM. Only the last guy to show up this morning went on lunch first. Thanks a bundle, jackhole. But I finally go on my lunch. And what a lunch it is. A single whole Chick-fil-A chicken biscuit. Not two like I really needed. Never mind that there was enough food for EVERYONE WORKING THE WHOLE DAY to grab two bisuits. Only one. So I eat it. Luckily, or so I thought, there were a handful of Krispy Kreme doughnuts that the XM rep has provided. So I had a kruller along with a monster drink and a bottle of water. But, it seems that the mix of my meds and those foods wasn't too wise. Because right around 11AM or so, on a routine trip to the bathroom for the water cycling, my internal organs decided to return to the outside that which I had consumed for my break two hours earlier. Did I mention that I was running a fever the whole time I was at work? So finally I am cleared to go home. There are a couple of managers who actually give a shit. Just not the top managers. Only, I've left me cell phone at home. Which is problematic because I haven't memorized anyone else's phone number, since I saved them into the cell. And I can't reach Chris on his cell phone. So what does my happy ass get to do? Walk home! Yay! Which sucked. And then I get home to find that I do not have my keys and the door is, of course, locked. So I get to break into my apartment. Fun! Then I grabbed a hot hot hot shower and passed out for a few hours.

So this poor dejected soul could do with some pampering. Preferably by a female type with a good immune system and great hands. Any takers?

cough hack splort uuuuuggghhhhhhh