Monday, November 01, 2004

Destiny, Non-Aggression, and the Luck of Turin

Somehow I have tapped into the nigh-unto-infinite energies that are tied to Turin Swift. Turin Swift is capable of impossible things, like dodging the magical equivalent of a small nuclear explosion. In an inclosed hallway. With no nearby exits. In his sleep. There are times when I can tap into this phenominally impossible Luck, though only rarely. But the results, while extraordinary, pale in comparison to the times when I stumble into said Luck. Because blind, stupid luck is the very heart of the Luck of Turin. Though perhaps Luck isn't the proper term. Perhaps Destiny is a better term. What seems impossible in the terms of random Chance, is possible when something is just Meant to be. For most of my life Fate and Chance have been forces that have conspired against me. I cannot rely on Chance for help or hope. If I am given 50/50 odds on anything, I will lose 99.9% of the time. "Playing the Odds" is a false comfort in my case. Destiny, however, takes pity on me, as does her older brother Doom. Destiny.

To digress, I have had a Non-Aggresstion Pact with romance since my mid-teens. Whenever I sought after romance and love, I was always sorely rejected. Fantastically and terribly so. Beautiful, god-like failures of epic, monumental scope. I do not stumble. I fall as a Texas sized meteor slamming into the earth's surface at Mach 10, scattering fire and destruction in my wake as I create a crater the size of the Gulf of Mexico. So that's why I developed a philosophy of not actively seeking love. The two most memorable objects of my affection in my lifetime found me, not the other way around. Same with this most recent occurance, some two and a half years in the waiting. I don't know her that well, but I am learning more that just make me like her more and more. She is tall, slender, soft. A soothing alto, with hints of sensuality. Reserved, somewhat shy, but I believe it has more to do with her unfamiliarity with the group of people who so swiftly accepted her, myself included. She's into AD&D and Whitewolf RPG's, she likes video games. She's into the whole Ren-Fest thing. And she opened herself up to me first. Simply, and quietly, just playing in a pool, then she was the one who leaned on me later that evening as we were all hanging out, relaxing on the balcony. I am smitten in a way I have not been in a very long time. And I couldn't be happier.

Destiny has whispered to Autumn.
A warm smile parts her lips,
her hair,
flecked with the bright reds,
and yellows
of the leaves wild and untamed.
Autumn smiles upon me
at the request of Destiny.
They both smile
An opportunity is presented,
simple, like a brown paper package.
Carefully placed inside
is the chance for new love.
set aside for the day
when my heart was ready
to love again.

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