Well, I thought I was going to bed, but it appears my brain has other ideas. So one glass of wine for me while I type out this bit of nonsense. Apparently, Sangria is a right tasty wine. Or so my mouth says. Anyway. At this most very recent moment, I have been overcome by a large feeling of not right. Things just aren't right. It's most likely the hour. But my mind has been wandering. A wandering mind is normally of no consequence, but where the mind was wandering today...It made me feel guilty. Makes me feel guilty.
I was supposed to be able to see Holly today, but she has a paper due tomorrow that she had to work on. I would like to hope that I can see her tomorrow, but on Wednesdays she's being going to see some band or another with Andy, heretofore known as He Who Was Not Chosen. I trust Holly. I have no course but to trust Holly. If I cannot trust her, then I cave in to my past. This is not my past, this is my now. I empathize with Andy. Because I have been He Who Was Not Chosen. But I do not trust Andy. Because I have been He Who Was Not Chosen. And Andy is the person making it difficult for me to get involved in the things Holly does. Because Andy is involved in all of them. And my presence would cause discomfort. Rah. Have I ranted about that already? I don't remember.
Then there's the job hunt. How I hate the job hunt. Lots of effort for no results then a flash of luck that circumvents effort. Every time. Every job I've had was like that. Food Lion, Tony got me the job. Games Workshop, talked to a manager, filled out an application as a formality while I filled out my w2's. Transportation Museum, called the place and asked, and they had me come in and fill out the paper work. CFA, filled out an application, and I was called the next morning. Sam's Effing Car Wash, again, Tony. Hopefully, the tax returns will come soon.
I should feel a lot better than I do right now. But things have become so very weird. Has it run it's course already?